


Christmas in the Bluffs

by thundercaya



Series: Exterminator!Steve [6]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Christmas Special, Divergent Storyline, M/M, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-30
Updated: 2013-11-30
Packaged: 2018-01-03 01:12:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1063905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thundercaya/pseuds/thundercaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve takes his daughter to Desert Bluffs for their first Christmas with Kevin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas in the Bluffs

**Author's Note:**

> This is why I don't like writing for shows that are ongoing. I started writing this series before Yellow Helicopters and this is so far removed from what's going on in the show that I want to burrow underground mini sand shark-style and never come out again. Well, it is what it is and this time it's really done. I think. I hope.
> 
> This was supposed to be a dinky little thing. It's still dinky, but it's not so little. Sorry and I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Steve had very nearly gotten Kevin into quite a lot of trouble. When the antidote began to kick in and the people of Desert Bluffs began to notice and reject the gory work for which StrexCorp was using their little burgh, they removed and dismantled any and all Strex tech in town, including the seemingly innocuous AC units, in which they found the Strex drug. Said drug being noticeably absent from Kevin's unit, there were those who thought he must have been involved, especially since he'd praised the company so very highly on his show. Of course, it was his show that ultimately saved him. The unit at the station _did_ contain the drug, and he spent enough time there that cooler heads had reasoned that he was under the drug's influence as well. There was no way he had faked the blackness of his eyes with contacts the way that Elena had. As for why his home was drug-free, Kevin correctly guessed that it must have been the work of Steve Carlsberg, who had warned him before disappearing that things might be awful and that his great attitude might not hold up.

They said Steve was a hero, but he didn't feel like one. He'd uncovered the drug, sure, but anyone could have done that, undrugged, and the antidote had come from Carlos, not him. Carlos deserved any credit that didn't go to the town, which had fought Strex off all on their own once they'd discovered there was a reason to fight. There had been casualties, yes, but now they were free to be the town they really were, deep down inside.

As it turned out, Desert Bluffs wasn't all that different without the influence of StrexCorp. It made sense, really, that Strex would target such a cheerful, friendly little town that would welcome them in with open arms. Especially one full of hard-working people, who would have been more than willing to do any work Strex asked of them if it hadn't involved disposing of human remains. Kevin, too, was just as cheerful and friendly as the day he'd met Steve. It was comforting, really, to think that Kevin would have been just as eager to help even if he hadn't been on drugs at the time. And better still--without the influence of drugs, Kevin still liked Steve, and was interested in being with him.

It was still a bit weird for Steve, if he was honest. With his eyes gone from black back to their natural brown--"uh... like... chocolate éclairs," Steve had described them, when prompted--Kevin looked more like Cecil than ever. Still, aside from their appearance, they were very different people, and that was enough for Steve to push awkwardness aside and let this happen.

What "this" was, exactly, was another question. For one thing, their towns were two hours away, and coming and going between the two wasn't exactly easy, not for someone like Steve who almost couldn't drive to the store without permission, much less take a trip, and not for someone like Kevin who was a Dessert Bluffian and therefore not exactly welcome in Night Vale. For another, Kevin's polyamory was also not a product of the Strex drug exaggerating his own drive towards efficiency--he simply had no desire to be with one single person. He insisted, as he had before, that sleeping with other people was not an indication that he wasn't crazy about Steve, and honestly, Steve believed him. It wasn't exactly how Steve would want it, but it was Kevin's decision to do what he wanted and Steve's decision to accept it or not. And his decision was to accept it. Not swallow down his complaints begrudgingly like he had when he'd dated Cecil, but actually learn to accept it.

He also had to accept the fact that he really didn't understand Kevin's smile. Though it was no longer ever-present, it still often was, and Steve got the feeling that it wasn't always quite sincere. Steve thought there must be something else behind it aside from cheer--no one who was truly that happy needed to constantly prove it to themselves or those around them. It wasn't fake, so much--more like bravery, to put on a smile when there was something else inside. Steve didn't know yet what it was, but he wanted to, and he hoped that someday they'd be at a point where Kevin would share. But Steve wasn't about to force it out of him. He just wanted to make sure Kevin knew he was there, ready to catch it when Kevin got tired of carrying it.

***

It had been a while since Steve had the chance to make the drive out to Desert Bluffs. It was the holiday season, which meant two things: lots and lots of strange and nasty creatures making their way into people's homes to escape the cold, and lots and lots of Christmas recitals and such that his daughter needed to attend. This made Steve a very busy man.

He did save himself two particular days off. No one would begrudge him not working on Christmas--at least not anymore than they begrudged him his very existence. He decided to take Stella out to Desert Bluffs to meet Kevin. Bella certainly wouldn't miss them over the holiday.

***

"Sweetheart, we need to go!" Steve called as he closed the door to the back of his Corolla, all the gifts and their overnight bags packed inside.

Stella appeared in the doorway wearing a furry parka and a furry skirt over furry tights and furry boots, a pair of furry mittens on her hands and a furry scarf around her neck. Each item was a different color, giving her the appearance of having skinned the cast of Sesame Street. The image was aided by the hunting cap on her head. It wasn't terribly cold, but Stella didn't get to her wear winter clothes as often as she liked, so she liked wearing all her winter clothes at once.

"Weren't you going to wear that dress your mother gave you?" Steve asked as Stella locked the front door.

"Why should I wear a dress?" Stella asked. "He's _your_ boyfriend, not mine."

Steve knew Stella was just being flippant, but it did spark his curiosity.

" _Do_ you have a boyfriend?" Steve asked when they were both in the car.

"No," Stella said.

"Girlfriend?"

Stella rolled her eyes. "No."

"Otherfriend?"

"No, Dad! Can you drop it?"

"Fine," Steve said. "Now, did you use the restroom?"

"Oh my God, Dad!" Stella said. "Listen, I love you, and there are a lot of things I still need you for, but reminding me to use the restroom is not one of them."

"Right," Steve said, starting the car. "Sorry." Once they'd pulled out of the driveway he reached to turn on the radio."Let's have some music."

"If I hear one more Christmas song, I'm going to murder someone's face."

Steve paused before his hand touched the dial and he put it back on the steering wheel instead. "Murder, huh?"

"Yes," Stella said, staring out the windshield with her arms crossed.

"Just their face?"

"Yes."

Steve arched an eyebrow. "And you're aware I'm the only person here?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, okay then," Steve said.  "Put one of your CDs on."

***

"This chorus is like sandpaper in my throat," Steve said after butchering said chorus.

"So stop trying to sing it," Stella groaned, her face in her hands.

"No, no, I can do it," Steve insisted.  He tried it again when it came back up. "Wow, that was worse."

"It's out of your range, Dad. Bring it down an octave."

"No, if she can hit them, so can I."

"If you think that's not autotuned, you're delusional."

"Of course I'm delusional, sweetheart," Steve grinned. "I'm Steve Carlsberg."

The song ended and Stella thought that was that, but Steve knew the next one as well--and he couldn't hit the notes in that one either.

"Dad, stop!" Stella pleaded. "All right, you can listen to Christmas music."

"No, I can't," Steve said. "I don't want anyone's face to get murdered."

Stella sighed deeply. "I'm sorry I threatened you. I didn't mean to. It's a habit."

"Well, it's a bad habit. Don't do it again."

"To you, or...?"

"To anyone!" Steve said. "But especially to me."

"Fine," Stella said.

"Good. Next time just ask." He allowed her CD to keep playing and didn't try to sing along again. "So," he said some time later. "Are you excited to visit Kevin?"

"Not really," Stella shrugged. "I don't like him very much."

"How can you already not like him?" Steve asked. "You haven't even met him."

"He tried to kill Cecil," Stella reminded.

"He didn't realize that's what he was doing," Steve explained. "The Strex drug made him think it was a hug."

"Did he ever hug you like that?" Stella asked.

Steve's face went red and he cleared his throat.

"You know," he said, instead of answering "I would be very surprised if none of your friends had ever tried to kill you."

Stella sighed. "Yeah," she agreed. "You're right."

Now Steve had to deal with the fact that that had worked. Perhaps on the drive back he'd find out which friend those were.

***

"So this is Desert Bluffs, huh?" Stella asked, peering out the window as they entered the town. "It looks nice enough, I guess."

"It is now," Steve said. "Wasn't when I was here the first time."

"I'm glad you came back, Dad," Stella said, putting her mitten-covered hand on his on the gear shift.

Steve smiled lightly. "Yeah, me, too."

***

When they were parked outside of the apartment, Steve gave Kevin a call so he could come down and help with the presents.

"Steve, it's wonderful to see you!" Kevin greeted with a smile and a kiss. He turned to Stella. "And you must be the little princess I've heard so much about."

"I'm fourteen, not four," Stella said.

"Stella," Steve scolded.

"Oh, it's all right, Steve," Kevin said, pulling an armload of presents from the backseat. "She's right. You're right, Stella. I'm sorry. How about the lovely young lady I've heard so much about?"

"That's acceptable," Stella said, shouldering her overnight bag. She smiled at Kevin. "And you must be the endearingly creepy guy I've heard about."

"Is that what your father said?" Kevin asked her, though he was looking at Steve.

"No," Steve said firmly. "I did say 'endearing.' 'Creepy'... probably came from Cecil."

Stella nodded in confirmation. "Mm-hm."

"Cecil talks about me?" Kevin asked, excitedly. "That's so nice!"

***

They put the presents more around than under the small tree in Kevin's living room, which was modestly decorated. He didn't have any music playing, so at least Stella didn't have that to complain about.

Steve had wanted to bring something for dinner, but he hadn't been sure if it would survive the long drive. Instead he helped Kevin to prepare the meal while Stella played Pokemon on her 3DS. She agreed to help them bake cookies, but she refused to pretend to think they were for Santa.

"He's just a bunch of bears," she explained to Kevin. "Bears can't eat cookies. It makes them queasy."

When she tried the cookies, Stella nearly cried--it was her first time eating wheat since the ban.

"Daddy can you pleeeeease make your scones while we're here?" she begged, hands clasped.

"Of course, sweetheart," Steve said, pleased. "We'll have them for breakfast."

***

After dinner they watched Christmas movies, Steve beside Kevin on the couch, an arm around the other man, Stella on the armchair, upside down and more interested in her two tiny screens than Kevin's large one.

"Stella, why don't you put that away?" Steve sighed.

"Can't," Stella said. "Gotta catch 'em all."

***

"I should turn in," Kevin said, stretching and standing up.

"That's what I was thinking," Steve said, also standing. Kevin kissed him deeply and Stella rolled her eyes.

"I'll get you two set up," Kevin said. He went to the hallway closet and returned with a stack of pillows and blankets. "Is this enough?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's perfect," Steve said. They kissed again. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah," Kevin said, grinning. "See you in the morning." He disappeared into the bedroom.

"Okay," Steve said to Stella. "You take the couch and I'll, uh, take the floor."

"Dad, when are you coming back here?" Stella asked, still not looking up from her game. "Like two weeks from now? Just go sleep in his room with him."

"Oh." Steve went red and cleared his throat. "Uh...."

"Were you gonna let me fall asleep and then sneak off? It didn't bother me when I was eight. You think it'll bother me now? If I need anything, I'll text you."

"Uh, yeah, okay," Steve said, grabbing a pillow. "See you tomorrow." He headed for the room.

"Remember, I want a little sister!" Stella called.

"Oh my God."

***

After a very very quiet round of sex, Steve lay in Kevin's bed, the other man rubbing his back.

"So how are things in Night Vale?" Kevin asked.

"All right," Steve said. "Not good." He buried his face in his pillow. "Awful. You know, they towed my car again last week. I had to pay a huge fine."

"Where was it parked?"  Kevin asked.

" _In my driveway_."

Kevin sighed. "I wish you would move out here with me."

"I would love to, but my kid is pretty happy where she is. If it were for her, I could justify doing it anyway, but honestly she does really well there. I'd rather die than make her unhappy."

"And you might," Kevin said.

"Yeah," Steve said. "But really, I'm lucky they even let me visit. I'd get us in trouble if I didn't go back. I mean you, too."

"I'd be willing to risk it," Kevin said. "But I appreciate you thinking about others. It's one of the things I like about you, after all."

"Well," Steve said, glancing at Kevin from the corner of his eye. "I would imagine your other boyfriends would be upset if I moved in with you. Less time for them and all."

"Steve," Kevin scolded.

Steve cringed, but he was glad. Sometimes he wasn't sure if Kevin was nice just because, and it helped to see Kevin be upset with him. If Kevin could be harsh with Steve when he deserved it, then it followed that Steve deserved it when Kevin was gentle.

"I don't have any other boyfriends," Kevin went on. "Only you. I do have certain friends that I do certain things with. You know that.  And you told me you were okay with it. Is that not true anymore?"

"No, it's.... It's still true," Steve assured, turning over to face Kevin. "I'm sorry. I just--We spend so much time apart, and I think of you here, and you have _them_ to turn to and what do I have? A town full of people who hate me. I couldn't have anyone else even if I wanted to."

"But you don't want to," Kevin said. "It's just not something you'd do. So why worry about it?"

"You're right," Steve sighed. "I am sorry. This is still new to me."

"It's all right," Kevin said running a hand pointedly over Steve's side, lingering on his ass. "You can make it up to me."

Typical Kevin, rewarding Steve for being a dick. Still, refusing would essentially be punishing Kevin for his own uncalled-for statement.

"Sure," Steve said. "Whatever you want."

***

Steve's phone buzzed incessantly on Kevin's nightstand, not a phone call, but text after text after text. He grabbed the phone and clicked to read them, but he could hardly keep up as new ones streamed in.

_Dad_

_Dad wake up._

_It's Christmas._

_Dadddddd waaaaake uuuuup._

_W_  
_A_  
_K_  
_E_  
_U_  
_P_  
_D_  
_A_  
_D_

_Christmas!_

_Presents!!_

_Dad!?_

_!_

"All right, I'm up!" Steve called out.

Kevin hummed beside him, waking.

"Hey, Cheshire Cat," Steve greeted, gentle words punctuated by a gentle kiss. "My daughter's dying to open her gifts. We'd better get out there."

***

"Finally!" Stella said when Steve and Kevin emerged from the bedroom. "Merry Christmas and all that."

"'And all that,'" Steve repeated, taking a seat on the couch, Kevin beside him. "Well, go on then. Don't let us keep you waiting."

Stella grinned and went for the tree, grabbing her distinctly CD-shaped present from Kevin. She tore it open. "Oh...," she said, her smile now forced. "Kelly Clarkson's Christmas album."

Steve winced.

"Your dad told me you like her," Kevin said brightly.

"I do," Stella said looking up at him, smile still not quite genuine, but much closer to it. "Thank you, Kevin."

 _Good girl_ , Steve thought. He'd have to thank her later.

Stella's gifts from her father included clothes, dance shoes, and gift cards. Steve got Kevin a stack of polo shirts to replace the Strex ones he'd gotten rid of.

Kevin went to the tree and pushed a box over to Steve.

"Don't try to pick it up," he said. "It's kind of heavy. Just open it."

Steve did so, and found hubcaps in the box.

"One less thing for Cecil to rib you over," Kevin explained.

The hubcaps that Bella had put on the Corolla were currently sitting in the trunk. Of course removing them was more work than just leaving them there, but it had never been about the work. As far as Steve was concerned, Cecil could rib him about that as much as he wanted. It was the least of what Cecil said about him, after all. It wasn't that Steve couldn't take care of his car, it was that he honestly did not give a shit about it and wasn't going to let anyone make him.

Steve put on a smile and looked at Kevin. "Thank you, Kevin. They're perfect."

Kevin beamed. "You're welcome, Steve dearest."

Stella got Steve some ammunition for his shotgun, which was especially helpful because it saved him from paying the Steve Carlsberg tax on it. For Kevin she got an autographed picture of Cecil.

"Oh, it's wonderful," Kevin said. "I'll put it in my recording booth right next to the picture of me." He peered at the cuneiform written above Cecil's name. "What does that say?" he asked.

"I don't know," Stella shrugged. "I'm taking double Spanish, not modified Sumerian."

"Let me see it," Steve said, reaching for the picture. Kevin handed it over. Despite not having gone to school in Night Vale, Steve had learned to read modified Sumerian early in his relationship with Bella, as she used it to write him love notes. He was a bit rusty, but it didn't take long to discover that Cecil's note wasn't very polite. "It says 'from one good-looking fellow to another,'" Steve said instead, handing it back.

"Oh!" Kevin said. "That's so nice of him!"

***

Steve wanted to stay longer, but it was a long drive back and Stella was clearly bored. After breakfast they packed their things into the car and said their goodbyes.

"I'm sorry your boyfriend gave you hubcaps," Stella said, once they'd pulled away from the apartment.

"I'm sorry he gave you Christmas music," Steve said.

"I'll listen to it next year before I get tired of it again," Stella shrugged. "Besides, it's his first Christmas with us. He'll learn."

"Not if I don't tell him," Steve said. "But Christmas morning with the gift right in front of me really wasn't the right time."

"You're learning," Stella said.

"I learned that lesson a long time ago. I just haven't had the opportunity to put it into practice seeing as no one at home would ever date me. Literally no one. Literally ever."

"I'm happy for you, Dad. He seems nice. Too nice. I don't trust him. But I am happy for you."

"That's fine," Steve said. "I'd be happy if you never trust anyone. Speaking of which, who are these friends who tried to kill you?"

"Dad!"

***

" _Night Vale, oh Night Vale!_ " Stella called out in improvised song as she climbed out of the car, in front of their house. " _Oh, how I've missed you, sweet Night Vale!_ "

"Come on, it wasn't _that_ bad," Steve said, unloading the car while Stella went to unlock the front door.

"Maybe not for _you_ because you got to make kisses with your _boyfriend_ , but--" Stella cut off. "Hey, what's up with the windows?"

" _What_?" Steve demanded, dropping his overnight bag on the ground and going to the window. Sure enough, there was fresh stucco around the windows as if they had been replaced. "Goddammit," he muttered, entering the house. There was a note on the kitchen table.

"Enjoy the new windows. Merry Christmas! -SSP"

Steve crushed the note. No more soundproofed windows. At least not until the window guy had another pest control emergency. Steve hoped the Secret Police liked Christmas music; he'd be playing Stella's new CD next to the windows until June.


End file.
